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Last edited by azzit on Thu Jun 17 10:27:33 1999
Page No. 111
What Your Car Says About You
Acura
Integra
I have
always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars.
Acura Legend
I'm too bland for
German cars.
Acura NSX
I am impotent.
Audi 90
I enjoy putting out
engine fires.
Buick Park Avenue
I am older than 34 of the 50 states.
Cadillac Eldorado
I am a very good
Mary Kay salesman.
Cadillac Seville
I am a pimp.
Chevrolet Blazer
I like to play in
the dirt, but I don't want to get dirty.
Chevrolet Camaro
I enjoy beating up people.
Chevrolet Chevette
I like seeing
people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette.
Chevrolet Corvette
I'm in a mid-life
crisis.
Chevrolet El Camino
I am leading a
militia to overthrow the government.
Chevrolet Monte Carlo
I have no front teeth.
Chrysler Cordoba
I dig the rich
Corinthian leather.
Datsun 280Z
I have a kilo of
cocaine in my wheel well.
Dodge Dart
I teach third grade
special education and I voted for Eisenhower
Dodge Daytona
I delivered pizza for four years to get
this car
Ford Fairmont
(See Dodge Dart.)
Ford Mustang
I slow down to 85
in school zones.
Ford Crown Victoria
I enjoy having
people slow to 55mph and change lanes when I pull up
behind them.
Geo Storm
I will start the 11th grade in the Fall.
Geo Tracker
I will start the
12th grade in the Fall.
Honda del Sol
I have always said,
half a convertible is better than no convertible at all
Honda Civic
I have just
graduated and have no credit
Honda Accord
I lack any originality and am basically a
lemming.
Infiniti Q45
I am a physician
with 17 malpractice suits pending.
Isuzu Impulse
I do not give a rip
about J.D. Power or his reports.
Jaguar XJ6
I am so rich I will
pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year.
Jeep Wrangler
I am a frat boy, and I am living off
dad's money.
Jeep Grand Cherokee
I was a frat boy,
and now I make too much money.
Kia Sephia
I learned nothing
from the failure of Daihatsu Corp.
Lincoln Town Car
I live for bingo
and covered dish suppers.
Mercury Grand Marquis
(See above.)
Mercedes 500SL
I will beat you up
if you ask me for an autograph.
Mercedes 560SEL
I have a daughter
named Bitsy and a son named Cole.
Mazda Miata
I do not fear being
decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler
MGB
I am dating a mechanic.
Mitsubishi Diamante
I don't know what
it means either.
Mitsubishi Mirage
I wish I had an
Escort.
Nissan 300ZX
I have yet to
complete my divorce proceedings.
Peugeot 505 Diesel
I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List.
Plymouth Neon
I sincerely enjoy
doing the Macarena.
Pontiac Trans AM
I have a
switchblade in my sock.
Porsche 944
I am dating big
haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me.
Rolls Royce Silver Shadow
I think Pat Buchanan is a tad bit too
liberal.
Saturn SC2
(See Honda Civic.)
Subaru Legacy
I have always
wanted a Japanese car even more.
Toyota Camry
I am still in the
closet.
Toyota Pickup
I can't decide between a car and a truck.
Volkswagon Beetle
I still watch
Partridge Family reruns.
Volkswagon
Cabriolet
I am out of the
closet.
Volkswagon Microbus
I am tripping right
now.
Volvo 740 Wagon
I am frightened of my wife.
Page No. 111
