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196 Yo Momma Jokes
SO FAT
- Yo momma so fat when her beeper goes off,
people thought she was backing up
- Yo momma so fat she
eats Wheat Thicks
- Yo momma so fat people
jog around her for exercise
- Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and
sat next to everyone
- Yo momma so fat she was
in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the new world
- Yo momma so fat she
goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says
"okay!"
- Yo momma so fat she got to iron her pants on
the driveway
- Yo momma so fat she put
on her lipstick with a paint-roller
- Yo momma so fat when
she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
- Yo momma so fat when she sits around the
house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
- Yo momma so fat when
she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time,
please"
- Yo momma so fat she
fell in love and broke it
- Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it
says to be continued
- Yo momma so fat when
she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock
- Yo momma so fat she's
got her own area code!
- Yo momma so fat she looks like she's
smuggling a Volkswagon!
- Yo momma so fat
whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
- Yo momma so fat her
legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!
- Yo momma so fat I had to take a train to get
on her good side!
- Yo momma so fat she
wakes up in sections!
- Yo momma so fat when she goes to an amusement
park, people try to
ride HER!
- Yo momma so fat she rolled over 4 quarters
and it made a dollar!
- Yo momma so fat when
she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!
- Yo momma so fat when
she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!
- Yo momma so fat she's got more Chins than a
Hong Kong phone book!
- Yo momma so fat that
her senior picture had to be arial view!
- Yo momma so fat she's
on both sides of the family!
- Yo momma so fat everytime she walks in high
heels, she strikes oil!
- Yo momma so fat she has
a wooden leg with a kickstand!
- Yo momma so fat she
broke her leg, and gravy poured out!
- Yo momma so fat she got hit by a parked car!
- Yo momma so fat they have to grease the bath
tub to get her out!
- Yo momma so fat she has
a run in her blue-jeans!
- Yo momma so fat when
she back up she beep
- Yo momma so fat she has to buy two airline
tickets
- Yo momma so fat when
she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get
up
- Yo momma so fat she
influences the tides
- Yo momma so fat that when I tried to drive
around her I ran out of gas
- Yo momma so fat the
animals at the zoo feed her
- Yo momma so fat when
she dances at a concert the whole band skips
- Yo momma so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover
her
- Yo momma so fat she
stands in two time zones
- Yo momma so fat you
have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on
the other side just to get her through
- Yo momma so fat when she goes to an all you
can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps
- Yo momma so fat that
she can't tie her own shoes
- Yo momma so fat she
sets off car alarms when she runs
- Yo momma so fat when she wears a Malcomn X
T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back!
- Yo momma so fat the
only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures
- Yo momma so fat she put
on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist
they spelled out boulevard
- Yo momma so fat that when she sits on the
beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back
into the ocean
- Yo momma so fat that
she would have been in ET, but when she rode the bike
across the moon, she caused an eclipse
- Yo momma so fat she was
Miss Arizona -- class Battleship
- Yo momma so fat to her "light food"
means under 4 Tons
- Yo momma so fat The
Himalayas are practices runs to prepare for her
- Yo momma so fat she
went on a date with high heels on and came back with
sandals!!!
- Yo momma so fat she stepped on a talking
scale and it told her to get off!!!
- Yo momma so fat and
stupid, her waist size is larger than her IQ!!!
- Yo momma so fat she was
zoned for commercial development
SO STUPID
- Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to
watch 60 minutes
- Yo momma so stupid it
took her half an hour to make minute rice
- Yo momma so stupid she
threw a brick at the floor and missed
- Yo momma so stupid when she saw the NC-17
(under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got
16 friends
- Yo momma so stupid that
she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her
mind
- Yo momma so stupid she
hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl
- Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her
IQ!
- Yo momma so stupid she
got locked in a grocery store and starved!
- Yo momma so stupid that
she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!
- Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a
cordless phone!
- Yo momma so stupid she
sold her car for gasoline money!
- Yo momma so stupid she
bought a solar-powered flashlight!
- Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback
is a refund!
- Yo momma so stupid she
took a cup to see Juice
- Yo momma so stupid she
asked you "What is the number for 911"
- Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot
out
- Yo momma so stupid she
called Dan Quayle for a spell check
- Yo momma so stupid she
stepped on a crack and broke her own back
- Yo momma so stupid she thought she needed a
token to get on Soul Train
- Yo momma so stupid she
took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif
- Yo momma so stupid when
you stand next to her you hear the ocean!
- Yo momma so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac
is a new hamburger at McDonalds!
- Yo momma so stupid she
sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
- Yo momma so stupid when
she went to take the 6 train, she took the 3 twice
- Yo momma so stupid she jumped out the window
and went up
- Yo momma so stupid she
took a umbrella to see Purple Rain
- Yo momma so stupid she
watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes
- Yo momma so stupid she couldn't read an audio
book
- Yo momma so stupid it
takes her a week to get rid of a 24hr virus
- Yo momma so stupid it
takes her a day to cook a 3 minute egg
- Yo momma so stupid She has to ask for help to
use hamburger helper
- Yo momma so stupid She
went to disneyworld and saw a sign that said
"Disneyworld Left" so she went home
- Yo momma so stupid she
asked me what kind of jeans I had on and I said
"guess" so she said levi's
- Yo momma so stupid she called information to
get the number for 911
SO UGLY
- Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly
contest, they said "Sorry, no
professionals"
- Yo momma so ugly just
after she was born, her mother said "What a
treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's
go bury it"
- Yo momma so ugly they
push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies
- Yo momma so ugly instead of putting the
bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her
neck
- Yo momma so ugly she
gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween
- Yo momma so ugly when
she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence
cameras
- Yo momma so ugly her mom had to tie a steak
around her neck to get the dogs to play with her
- Yo momma so ugly the
government moved Halloween to her birthday
- Yo momma so ugly that
if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects
- Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry
- Yo momma so ugly when
they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours for
a quote!
- Yo momma so ugly she
tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
- Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and
gets arrested!
- Yo momma so ugly even
Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
- Yo momma so ugly Ted
Danson wouldn't date her!
- Yo momma so ugly for Halloween she trick or
treats on the phone!
- Yo momma so ugly she
turned Medusa to stone!
- Yo momma so ugly people
go as her for Halloween
- Yo momma so ugly she scares the roaches away
- Yo momma so ugly I
heard that your dad first met her at the pound
- Yo momma so ugly that
your father takes her to work with him so that he
doesn't have to kiss her goodbye
- Yo momma so ugly she is very successful at
her job: Being a scarecrow
- Yo momma so ugly she
has to sneak up on a glass of water
SO OLD
- Yo momma so old I told her to act her own
age, and she died
- Yo momma so old her
social security number is 1!
- Yo momma so old that
when she was in school there was no history class
- Yo momma so old her birth certificate says
expired on it
- Yo momma so old she
knew Burger King while he was still a prince
- Yo momma so old her
birth certificate is in Roman numerals
SO POOR
- Yo momma so poor she can't afford to pay
attention!
- Yo momma so poor when
she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's
fingers
- Yo momma so poor when I
ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
- Yo momma so poor she went to McDonald's and
put a milkshake on layaway
- Yo momma so poor your
family ate cereal with a fork to save milk
- Yo momma so poor her
face is on the front of a foodstamp
- Yo momma so poor she wave around a popsicle
stick and calls it air conditioning
- Yo momma so poor
burglars break in her house and leave money
SO DARK
- Yo momma so dark she went to night school and
was marked absent!
- Yo momma so dark that
she can leave fingerprints on charcoal
- Yo momma so dark she
has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls
to keep from eating her fingers
- Yo momma so dark they made a movie of her
heart transplant called "From the darkest heart
of Africa"
SO SHORT
- Yo momma so short you can see her feet on her
drivers lisence!
- Yo momma so short she
has to use a ladder to pick up a dime
- Yo momma so short she
can play handball on the curb
- Yo momma so short she does backflips under
the bed
- Yo momma so short she
models for trophys
- Yo momma so short she
pole vaults with a toothpick
- Yo momma so short she has to look down to
look up
SO NASTY
- Yo momma so nasty she made Speed Stick slow
down
- Yo momma so nasty she
made Right Guard turn left
- Yo momma so nasty the
fishery be paying her to leave
- Yo momma so nasty she has to creep up on
bathwater
- Yo momma so nasty she
made Sure confused
- Yo momma so nasty Ozzie
Ozbourne refused to bite her head off
- Yo momma so nasty she went swimming and now
we have the dead sea
- Yo momma so nasty she
joined the four horseman: war, death, famine, disease
and Yo momma
SO HAIRY
- Yo momma so hairy she look like she got
Buchwheat in a headlock
- Yo momma so hairy
Bigfoot is taking her picture!
- Yo momma so hairy she
looks like a Chia Pet with an afro!
- Yo momma so hairy she shaves with a
weedwhacker
SO SLUTTY
- Yo momma so slutty when she got a new mini
skirt, everyone commented on her nice belt.
SO GREASY
- Yo momma so greasy she used bacon as a
band-aid!
- Yo momma so greasy she
sweats Crisco!
TEETH SO YELLOW
- Yo momma teeth so yellow traffic slows down
when she smiles!
- Yo momma teeth so
yellow she spits butter!
- Yo momma teeth so
yellow I can't believe its not butter
SO LAZY
- Yo momma so lazy she thinks a two-income
family is where yo daddy has two jobs
SO SKINNY
- Yo momma so skinny she has to wear a belt
with spandex
- Yo momma so skinny she
turned sideways and dissapeared
SO BALD
- Yo momma so bald you can see what's on her
mind
- Yo momma so bald that
she took a shower and got brain-washed
GLASSES SO THICK
- Yo momma's glasses so thick that when she
looks on a map she can see people waving
- Yo momma's glasses so
thick she can see into the future
HAS
- Yo momma has one leg and a bicycle
- Yo momma has one hand
and a Clapper
- Yo momma has a wooden
afro with an "X" carved in the back
- Yo momma has green hair and thinks she's a
tree
- Yo momma has one ear
and has to take off her hat to hear what you're
saying
- Yo momma has 10
fingers--all on the same hand
- Yo momma has a glass eye with a fish in it
- Yo momma has a short
leg and walks in circles
- Yo momma has a short
arm and can't applaude
- Yo momma has no ears I seen her trying on
sunglasses
HOUSE SO SMALL
- Yo momma house so small she has to go outside
to eat a large pizza
- Yo momma house so small
you have to go outside to change your mind
HOUSE SO DIRTY
- Yo momma house so dirty she has to wipe her
feet before she goes outside
HEAD SO SMALL
- Yo momma head so small she use a tea-bag as a
pillow
- Yo momma head so small
that she got her ear pierced and died
MISC.
- Yo momma breath so bad when she yawns her
teeth duck
- Yo momma lips so big,
Chap Stick had to invent a spray
- Yo momma teeth are so
rotten, when she smiles they look like dice
- Yo momma mouth so big, she speaks in surround
sound
- Yo momma hair so nappy
she has to take Tylenol just to comb it
- Yo momma so clumsy she
got tangled up in a cordless phone
- Yo momma so wrinkled, she has to screw her
hat on
- Yo momma twice the man
you are
- Yo momma cross-eyed and
watches TV in stereo
- Yo momma is missing a finger and can't count
past 9
- Yo momma arms are so
short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear
- Yo momma middle name is
Rambo
- Yo momma in a wheelchair and says, "You
ain't gonna push me 'round no more"
- Yo momma so grouchy,
the McDonalds she works in doesn't even serve Happy
Meals
- Yo momma is in a
wheelchair screaming "I AIN'T STANDING FOR
THIS"
- Yo momma threw a frizbee three weeks ago that
hasn't landed yet
The Mama Homepage da real thang!
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